The Last Conversation (i had with myself)

-Man I want a 40.

Addiction is addiction, and you sir are an addict.

That's not a fucking opinion, it's a fact. Deal with it asshole.

-But I'm sober like 90% of the time. It's one fucking 40!

Do you want to be sober 90% of the time?

-Fuck no, you know where I can get any pills man?

Yeah,. see. Quit being a pussy and own up to it.

-Dude, I really don't see a problem here. . .

You remember that one time you told your dad Mike loaned you part of his rent money, and you can't pay him back so you need $20 bucks?

-Ya. . .

Remember how you cried and begged and pleaded?

-. . .We don't talk about this.

Remember how happy you were when he gave you that $20?

-. . . .

Was it for Mike?

-. . .

Was it?

- . . .no. . .

What did you do with it?

-. . .I got E and went to the club. . .

Proud?

-. . . .not really, but fuck, that was like five years ago.

Hey, why is your car all dented up and shit?

-Vandals?

Try Tequila asshole.

-Dude, that's just the hood.

Why is the hood dented?

-. . .

WHY IS IT FUCKING DENTED!

-Because I got mad when I hit Dustin's car and started jumping up and down on the hood screeming at the car. . ..

And that makes sense, right?

-You had to be there man, in the context. . .

I was there, I am you dumbass. The part that's remotely sane and not completely self destructive.

-Well fuck you, you have it easy! You're not the one with the problem.

WE SHARE A FUCKING BODY!

-Dude, at least we're thin again. Give me some credit for that, I'm the one who doesn't eat.

Remember New Years Eve, oh, say 2004?

-Yeah, that was a fucking weird ass night. . .

Remember sitting in Brandi Doll's hotel room, fucked up on a handful of pills and half an 8ball? Remember sweating so badly it was like rain while you were rolling the joint? Remember trying to compliment that guy on his tie and not being able to talk and having to have some coked out bitch translate your retard mumbling for you?

-Ok, so maybe weird wasn't the right word. . .

Yeah, so you're on the verge of OD'ing and people want you to leave the party so you don't die in the fucking room and ruin their night. . .What do you do next?

-Go home? Hospital?

Try Speedballing at Jacci's loft till dawn. . .

-When you put it like that it sounds bad. . .

How the fuck else do you put that? I mean, really, what the fuck TJ. How do you even begin to make that sound good.

-Well, I did make out with that chick with the pigtails and librarian glasses. Man was she hot. Hell, I still think about her when I. . .

Dude! For christ's sakes you moron. You didn't even get laid!

-Rub it in man.

Remember laying in your bed the next day feeling like you were having a heart attack. Remember when you couldn't breathe? Remember vomiting all over yourself and thinking you could feel your heart stopping?

-Ya. I still went to work though. I'm a fucking badass.

Great, when the bombs fall only cockroaches and you will survive. I'm sure it will be fun.

-Whatev, pussy.

Remember what happened when you were separated and showed up at Crystals drunk on Tequila? Where's the steering column cover to your car man?

-. . .In a bush. . .

In a bush.

-. . .ya, in a bush, ok.

Remember driving up to city with Tim?

-Dude, ok stop, fuck you, I'll just go to bed or play solitare or something.

Good night TJ. Don't fuck up falling asleep.

-Screw you asshole. Night.