It's ok, really.

Spent the day sitting on my front porch, watching a sunny day slip into twilight over the elementary school's rise -right across the street from me. Children still straggle out, parents in tow, until they get in their cars and go. So, I've been thinking about the state of things; Civilization cum society bleeding into my ontology - all existential and mulled over like the Chai Tea and Cheap Sangria sitting beside me. Eternal and distant, held gently in hands desperate to wring themselves in petulant phantom worry.

But I feel fine - and that seems cause for alarm, deep seeded worry which should worm into my mind, eclipsing the steady advance of night with horror, panic and fright.

In the distance, I see through gently touching eyelids, vines climbing and reclaiming all that we thought should exist. Parks, with their contemptuously manicured lawns over run in thicket by thistle, green and verdant and lush in a way which causes so many gardeners bleak dismay. I smell the ancient remnants of ash in the wind, shadowed by the bouquet of pollen infused with the coming may rains. In the deeper distances, where our megalithic towers once stood defiant and proud, they are forgotten things, humbled and slouched. Along dequindre, gratiot and mansfield, the concrete paths have become cobbled, as the roots of trees seek to sweep them away.

Yet, I smile, sip my tea and pop a grape into my mouth, recline my shoulders and turn my oracles gaze upon the south.

Fearsome and gray the russet sky gives way to the most marvelous plume of cinder shot gray; I am beholden. Mushrooming above lands unseen, from which I can feel the subtle shock waves as they are relegated to the annals of our misbegotten history. In the fire and flames and screams which travel to my mind's eye unbeckoned, undreamed I see the horror of all that I've been, and find the seeds of beauty left to wait in the ashes of tragedy as our sins are forgiven and our path made clean. It is then, and only then, that I understand that I am not steel, nor invincible or beyond the soul's pain, but rather at peace with what has come, what is, and what tomorrow brings.