Everyone deserves a Eulogy

Quit smoking the other day.
Quit eating meat a month or so ago.
Started working out again.
I eat healthy now, exercise, go out for coffee
With friends and beers after that.
My pants fit, well really they don't,
The belt has about five new holes.
You get what I mean.
I can't go a day without a fortune cookie,
I get all nervous if I do.
Don't do drugs,
Don't think I will again.
Just don't need them.
I'm happy, I guess, but things
Could be better. But they aren't,
So I try, but not too hard.
I can't quit thinking about
this poem I read, called Ash
Wednesday, by T.S. Eliot.
And how the obvious things are
The hardest things, because they're
Jut right there, easy to see.
And there is no time but time,
No place but place, and time and
Place all one in a moment the same.
It's pointless to wonder, a waste
To dream, or make theories for
Solutions when there is no problem.
I can't sleep, and I think it's from
Missing the nicotine, or maybe it's
Just that I don't like my bed. When
I lay in it, I feel like I should be
Doing something instead. The retaining
Walls break, and my wheels start spinning,
The thoughts and theories flood, and
I'm just a machine left idly running.
I'm sick of having imaginary conversations
With real people. Or thinking so hard
About what I should say, it never comes
Out the same in the end anyway.
Because there are no words, other than
Words, and no people other than people,
When we're together in time and place.
And the only reason I'm here, typing this
Out, is because Lucky Dragon is closed.
Otherwise, I'd be driving up there, to
Buy a fortune cookie, and smile at the
Strange look the cooks always give me.
Because I just want to know, one way or
The other, if I really do have a lucky number.
If wisdom can come on little slips of paper,
That I can look forward to the future.
Because it all seems the same, the present
And past, the only difference is, that I'm
A different man; another train, on the same
Tracks. And I'd really like a cigarette.