They're Not You (Can you hear?)

They're not you,

This fact is undeniable,

This fact is true.

And their hands

Are not your hands,

Stirring cocktails and eye contact,

All little smiles -

Come hither breaths

Leaking from heaving breasts,

While I sip whiskey,

Keep their attention politely

With all my war stories;

My thin smile,

Choking back bile,

At their sympathetic lips,

The corners of their eyes,

When knees touch,

Her bed hanging

Diaphanous between us.

Will she taste like heaven,

Her sweat bleed freedom?

If I whisper your name

Into her ear, will she care,

Will she pretend in the afterglow

That I'm still there?

Not lost in memories,

Deep indents of velvet sofas,

Beneath thick blankets in cold cabins,

Sacred hugs in random hallways.

Should I sleep alone,

My arms empty while you're

Spread out silently in western beds

Of Los Angelical men?

They are not you,

No matter what we say

To ourselves as we force

Through this to the next day,

I'm not in their eyes,

So don't look for me there,

Alone or with company,

My bed silent or shared,

I'm drowning in drinks,

My empty smiles, my wolf whispers

In alabaster necks, absent ears

All the words I hold for you,

And I wonder in their nape,

Can you hear?