My mind riot, broken;
I'm dying, dead -
Every step scrambled,
Every eye trembles
Every word weeps
That tumbles from me.
Fuck, what's wrong;
I'm always shaking.
My hands are heavy,
Each thought deadly
Between the precipice
And below the peaks.
What did I think I am?
Everything has broken,
Crumbled buildings,
Fire, smoke clutched knees:
Everybody run! Madness
Like mortars falling,
Rockets incoming, how
Can I fucking breathe?!
How can I still breathe,
With my lungs full of tears,
Alone and choking on despair,
Cracking, snapping, screaming
Out into the desert air.
Everyone is dead to me,
Buried, blown up, in the ground;
Worm food just rotting.
Or little voices on shitty phones,
Distant lights eyes seek in
Baghdad's blackest nights;
This tunnel my vision,
No one is real, I'm a ghost
Of a man, clutching to illusions
Of safety, security and demobilization;
I'm lost, tired and terrified,
Every call home pure desperation
That someone can save me,
Stop my spine from quaking;
Some supposed savior,
Always begging for salvation.
Escape! While there's something left!
Before your mind is gone,
Your soul barren, bereft.
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