Every Goodgirl (Just wants to dance)

You are chains.

That don't give a fuck

If I'm weighed down

By my love

For what's dead and gone.

Tell me, tell me

I'm supposed to be

Ok with your transient

Disposition and motivation

Watching fascinated words

Fall from your painted lips

For another while you're

Glued to his hips

With with sweat

Poured into the lust

Of your forsaken kiss.

Fuck you Rasputin.

She say's I'm bad,

Maybe even evil,

But she loves it -

Every self professed,

Saint confessed

Goodgirl just wants to dance

With the devil.

So don't protest,

Say that sin isn't beautiful,

Because the pit

May be filled with demons,

But that volcanic crown

Rests on the brow of an angel.

Fuck you Rasputin

All the little heresies

Popping up like daisies

In the not-so-white

Bed sheets that run wet

With sweat, tears and

What remains of your dignity.

Well, we're all just trying

To feel like we're still alive,

Like we did tugging along kites

Through the adolscent skies

Of cerulean youths.

I swear, swear I don't blame you

But I don't pretend, won't pretend

I don't hate you.

Fuck you Rasputin.

Where are my blue skies?

My alabaster wings and

Golden halo? My genuflections

At the throne of our grace?

Knees weeping, forehead

Pressed into the dirt,

The antechambers

Of parting skirts,

My burning brow's reflection

In the sounds of seething

At innocence seduced and

Screaming out I'll never

See the throne again.

There's no home for me

In the eaves of heaven.

Fuck you Rasputin.

A song in progress

Let's Be Honest (Drinking for you)

Let's be honest.
Candid for a moment.
We all know how
This ends.
With a kitchen knife
And a 5th.
I've nothing left,
Can't try again;
Only hollow for so long
Before I find some misery
To swallow.
Only sober until
Everyone's gone
And I can drown in peace.
I loved you all,
I hope you know,
But all the bad words
Are in capitals
And that one's so damn small.
Maybe, if I were better
At playing my guitar
I'd get a wall too,
But I won't,
Just a toast to a ghost
At some shitty ghetto bar.
We all fade away,
Everything you capture escapes;
The moment,
The light
The fickle flame
And the sun
Creeping through venetian blinds;
Passed out in cold
Sweat and shame.
It all just fades away
Beneath the bottles
Lined up like fallen soldiers
You kill just to feel OK.
So drink to me, Elliot and Chris
Everyone who ever saw the truth
And was broken by it.
Because right now,
I'm drinking to you.
Right now,
I'm drinking for you.

Flint and Steel (The Ember)

Ochr and azure

The autumn sky

So godamn beautiful

As day fades to night,

I watch twilight rise.

While your smile

Begins to fade,

And the flicker,

The ember,

Of love that I

Kindled in your eyes.

I'm flint and steel,

A hard handed man

Worn from making sparks,

All the nights

Spent writhing in sweat,

Grinding me away in the dark.

Just don't look for fire

In my lips or heart,

I don't make flames

Or build fires

Only funeral pyres

For sad girls

With pretty eyes.

Because I only want

Women in love with their lies.

I only feel,

When I know I could rise

Above the broken

Way your hands make fists

When you seethe and despise

the way I see weakness in you.

I'm flint and steel, hard, solid

And painfully real.

Everything you want, fear, hate

And feel.

I Don't Believe (The knot, the noose)

I don't believe,

I don't believe;

In purpose,

Love, life

Or even simple

Meaning.

Only bed sheets

Torn up in lust,

Or the whiskey

At the bottom

Of my coffee cup.

It's all tangled up,

The dead, the gone

The ghosts in my head,

Like the sheets

Rumpled and wet

Spread across the bed.

I'd like to just make

Everything clean

And straight

So I can sleep tonight,

Let the knot of horror

That curls in my mind

Grow loose and unfurl

Like the sails of a ship;

Put you in place

Next to my dead friends

And think fondly

Of your lips I did love

Or the curve of your chin,

The way you'd laugh

When I nuzzled the nape

Of your neck, or the fuzz

Of your lower back.

I'd like to cast out

And just sail away,

Before knots become nooses

And I'm planted in a grave.

Because I can feel it

In the coming October air,

Samhain approaches,

The day of the noble dead,

I lean too far out of windows,

Drive too many drinks in,

Seethe to go back over there,

To find my friend,

Sleep silent still and well,

See if her love's alive, waiting,

Behind the mortal veil;

Because a man must make peace

With both his demons and dreams,

And when one swallows the other

He can do nothing.

A prisoner to manic madness

Or iron barred sadness,

There can be no relief

That doesn't come from

Pulling off panties

Or downing bottles of whiskey.

He becomes a wretched thing,

With no ship to sail,

No principles to fail,

No hope to follow

Only the knot, the gallows

And the hole where

Loving memories are eaten

By pain and sorrow

Until the heart grows heavy

Until the chest becomes hollow.

Most days I'm just looking

For reasons to make it

To tomorrow.

I don't believe;

I don't believe;

In anything.

Showing Emotion (Is like noticing your fly is down)

Showing emotion, I say, is like noticing

Your fly is down in a room full of people.

So it's best to keep your somber moods,

Thoughts black, thoughts blue, for quiet

Nights when you're alone in recluse.

Sick nights, rainy days; spent the evening

Trying to chase my new lovers away.

So I could put old feelings onto shelves,

In shoe boxes and trash bins, to string

Together a reason to go on from all I felt.

Because right now,

I just don't have one.

Everything died,

Alone in the tomb

Of my bunker

In the desert nights.

Maybe it's unfair to ask for the truth

Since we're all so used to living a lie.

But I'd like to quit drinking some day

And it helps to forget the mess, left

When he died and she ran away.

So I sift, search and stumble in the mess

Of my war-torn emotions and broken mind,

I know I don't deserve a thing, not candor,

Equity or what I'm given of your time,

But really, baby, I just want to feel better.

Because right now,

I'm just not alright.

I'm a survivors's cliche;

A PTSD novelty

Always scaring her, waking,

Screaming in the night.

She Feeds The Monster (I wasn't strong enough)

She feeds the monster in me;

Sex, drugs and whiskey.

I've walked hard roads

From the desert, to the sea

And been lost in bottles,

Bars and beds - remember;

Remember who you are.

Once there was a drunk angel

That sat on my shoulder,

But I ran too fast and she fell.

Now all I find are devils on my

Arm as we vacation in hell.

She feeds the monster in me;

Passion, blood and apathy.

Now there's this tower,

Ivory like lines cast on mirror

And steely gray skies. Clouds

Laid out like powder that come

And go - in the wind, they just blow.

My city's streets cracked and bleak,

Full of humming fury, desolate

And vibrant like only Detroit can be;

It's no home to me now, when we left

I lost my home, the angel to her city.

She feeds the monster in me;

Sweat, life and memories.

Who have I become?

Fed and bled this bitter blood-

The wolf howls at the naked moon,

My beast bellows at the fear of love;

Every ideal unwound, being made untrue.

Let go of the man,

So the monster can hunt,

Because I wasn't strong enough

To really let go of you.